Just 10 Seconds for Mom, PLEASE!

Lately it seems as though I can't even have 10 seconds to myself. I stand up and not only do I have 3 dogs on my behind but usually 2-3 kids as well. I have no idea why. No matter what I do, or where I go this happens.

Even if I just stand up and move to a different spot on the couch... they jump up to follow me, but I don't even move just scoot down. It's usually my girls and now Jayden that does this.

Which, is great I love sitting with them, cuddling and being close but is there a point it becomes too much?

It just seems like it's getting worse, and I'm not sure why. It's not like a nice little cuddle, or hug here and there, it's full on - on top of me!

When I went out to dinner with Ilana a few weeks ago we were talking about kids and I had mentioned it and she made a good point. They know my mom passed away when I was younger so maybe they don't want me out of their sight, or out of reach for too long out of fear?

I didn't really think much of it, but it really makes sense.

I've been very open and honest with them about my mom and the fact she had cancer so she did pass away. They've asked questions, so I have tried my hardest to answer them the best I can. I don't go into specifics, they just know that she was 48, passed away after getting sick with cancer. That's basically it. Which is really all that happened though, nothing bad or gory to explain. 

I get their concern, and I understand that in their minds I'm sure that fear will always be there. But not letting me have my own little space to breathe? Can be a bit suffocating. So I need to be gentle with this because I don't want them to think I'm pushing them away or I don't want the closeness, or I don't want them around because it's not that at all, so I really need to approach this with a lot of caution. This is very important to me to keep their feelings from being hurt, but be able to have a little bit of my own space. My kids are my everything, they are my world so you know if I'm saying this is too much, it's too much!

To be able to go to the bathroom, or stand up to grab a drink without tripping over them, you know?

This morning I tried to get up and go change the laundry around. Our laundry is in the kitchen which is on the same level, and eye shot from the living room and within seconds I had 3 dogs and 2 kids on my heels. So much so, one of them stepped on the back of my heel.

So, I had to have a little chat with them and let them know, just because I get up to walk around doesn't mean I'm not going to come right back to where I was, or if I go to another room, or floor of the house doesn't mean I'm not coming back. They need to understand that they don't have to be on top of me 24/7...... But I'm not sure how well it sunk in. I think we may end up having a few more conversations about this.

Hopefully soon I will be able to pee in peace. And a shower? bath? Can't remember the last time I was able to do that without having kids knocking, yelling or UNLOCKING the door with a penny to get in and say "Hi mom!" (and yes, I only ever do these things when my husband is home - he doesn't do a good job of keeping them from finding me!)

Has anyone ever dealt with this before? They've never dealt with people coming and going from their lives. There's nothing new going on in our lives, or big changes! I've never left for long periods of time, the longest I believe I've been away from them in the last oh, 5 years is when I was at the hospital to give birth and even then I was on the phone with them all and having them come visit..... So, it can be exhausting. While taking care of a baby, toddler and a household.

I wonder how else I can explain this to them in a way an 8, 7 and 5 year old can understand but not feel like I'm pushing them away or I'm mad. I'm not in the least. I just need a little space to be able to...BREATHE?