Should Your Kids Have a Say?

When it comes to planning on having more children - do your older children get a say? Do you get their feelings on the subject before you start that journey?

My last six pregnancies I never discussed it with my kids before hand. I didn't even tell them until after 6/8 weeks of being pregnant. They were all thrilled and no one had any hard feelings, at least that they told us. The excitement for Justin was overwhelming. They all wanted to be involved with the pregnancy - going to ultrasounds, helping pick out a name, wanting to come to doctors appointments and most of all they wanted something fun for the gender reveal... 

It wasn't until nearing the end of my pregnancy when I set up having my tubes tied did I even think of having more babies. More? I know, nuts right?

Well, here you need to sign papers which have to be sent off for approval to have your tubes tied. Why, I have no idea. It shouldn't be so complicated since it's our bodies, we should be able to do as we wish when it comes to tubes but alas it is what it is. When I went in for my 6 week post-partum check up I was told my surgery was approved. I could be scheduled anytime I wanted, what did I want to do? I was terrified. Not because its a surgery, but because I'm 28 years old and yes, I have six kids but what if I did end up wanting more down the line? Having my tubes tied to me was the end all be all. So I decided to wait. I was told that is fine, my name has now been approved so I could do it anytime I wish. I just had to let them know within 2 months if I wanted it sooner rather than later so I could be removed from the OR list, and give someone else the spot - but my name would still be approved for any time in the future.

I'm still waiting. I'm not emotionally ready to make a huge life decision like that, yet.

I still don't know what I want to do. A few weeks ago I was talking to Justin while holding him saying "I could have more babies if they were just like you you!" because he is such a wonderful baby, and My daughter Ava piped up and said "I don't want anymore babies!" I asked her why, and she shrugged... So, I asked again and she said "Because it would probably be a girl, have another boy not a girl!" I giggled, and if you read my post below you'd know why. I then said I wasn't planning on anymore, and she got upset! "I love brothers! I want another baby brother!"

Right then is when I decided, if my heart ever desired anymore I would get all my kids together and ask their opinions first. It's a big deal. I never realized it before, but it is. It's life changing not just for me and my husband, but for our kids as well. I can't believe I never did in the past, and I'm a little disappointed in myself for not.... It's so important, and I completely overlooked it unintentionally, but I still did.

I of course had to explain to Ava I can't choose what the baby would be gender-wise. That there would be a possibility of having another girl. She kind of looked at me puzzled. Another time for that one for sure. I can't believe she wouldn't want a little girl to put dresses on and bows in her hair, but I get it.

At this point and time I have absolutely no plans to have anymore children, but I don't want that to ever NOT be an option. Who knows how I'll feel 5-10 years from now. I don't know, but I do know going ahead with a surgery would be it for me so right now I'm waiting. 

So my question to you is, if you have children did you talk to them before deciding to have more? if not, would you? Would their opinion change your mind?