I really enjoyed this movie, but this post isn't exactly about the movie...
If you haven't seen this movie yet I'll give you a little bit of info,
"When her husband tells her he wants a divorce, devastated Manhattan lawyer Diane heads upstate with her two teens to Woodstock to stay with her estranged hippie mother. In this charming village, Diane and her city kids get a new perspective on life: poetry-reading daughter Zoe becomes interested in a sensitive young butcher Cole, nerdy son Jake finds material for his first film project, and Diane herself grows close to a handsome carpenter/singer Jude. Most importantly, Diane finally gets the chance to end the ancient war with the mother she has not seen for decades." - Wiki
My husband and I were watching this movie the other night and it got me thinking. From reading the above info you probably have no idea where I'm going with this because it really doesn't say in the description, so I'll tell you -
Pot.
In the movie Jane Fonda's character is a hippie Grandma and she is a pot grower and seller - at one point in the movie she smokes with her grand kids for their first time at ages 17 and 15 (if that!)
Now, this is what got me thinking - my son who is turning 11 in less than a month was offered pot at age 9...out front on my lawn by a kid 1 grade higher than him who he was kicking the soccer ball around with. Could you imagine? Now, he came right inside all upset and never hung out with this kid again.
My son is going into "Junior High" ~ grade 6 and it seems as though kids around here are doing these things younger, and younger - especially since where I come from is a very small city and at this age I didn't even know what drugs were let alone be offered any ever until well into my teens.
Jordan was raised the way I was, drugs are not for us. All drugs. I have never touched any sort in my life, and I know realistically that isn't all too common but despite how I may feel, I still don't want my kids doing any type of drugs so I've made sure never to change my stance on them and I feel very confident that Jordan will always choose how he was raised, but he may not.... So how does one prepare for that?
How do you accurately talk to your kids about not doing drugs? It's sad we have to think about this, but the time is coming.
I know someone who told me her 14 year-old smokes pot and she knows about it and to me that's just a scratch on the head. I am not sure how one can be okay with that?? Regardless, pot is illegal here in Canada and to me needing mind altering substances isn't needed when an adult, let alone a child.
I think it's important for my kids to know at this age about drugs, because I was completely caught off guard when my son was 9 being offered it. NINE. Right outside my house on my lawn. NINE.
I know PLENTY of adults who do it.
To each their own, an adult can make that decision on their own but kids? Shouldn't even have access to this stuff let alone offering it to friends. That I think is most disturbing to me.
How would you prepare your kids for the possibility of being offered these types of things in school or from peers? Have you had these types of talks with your kids? If you don't know, or aren't comfortable saying - - Have you seen this movie?
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I haven't even heard of this movie, but it sounds like something I would like, so I think I will have to give it a watch :)
ReplyDeleteThis movie is new to me too. I guess my kids won't be watching
DeleteSadly, I use my own personal experience with drugs to talk to the little ones, when the time comes. I probably won't sit my toddler down and tell her it's time for the talk, because who is going to offer her drugs in front of her parents? But my second daughter is entering middle school next year, and I remember all the drugs and dangers in middle school.
ReplyDeleteIn Wisconsin there is a program called D.A.R.E. Drug Abuse Resistance Education - children are educated in 5th & 6th grades. To this day my daughter that is 35 yrs. old swears the DARE Program along with family conversations which are encouraged in D.A.R.E. is the reason she never felt the need to use drugs. Talking about drugs with your children when they are young is so important.
ReplyDeleteI think that tv, movies and social media focus a lot on drugs and in some way glorify it so kids think they're missing out on something good and want to try it, especially if they feel it makes them look cool. We started early in talking to our kids about drugs, strangers, and sex so they weren't clueless.
ReplyDeleteI have been talking to my kids about drugs all the time. Thankfully my son is a runner and knows drugs will hurt his performance.
ReplyDeleteIt's great that your son is putting something he is passionate about ahead of peer pressure!
DeleteI live in a city where pot is widely accepted. I think that there's not much else that you can really do but talk to your kids and hope that they make smart choices.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness my children are home schooled so the pressure is a little bit different. I started doing drugs in high school myself because I was alone, without friends and the first group to approach me and offer me friendship was the group of druggies. I talk to my oldest who is 13 today about everything, and I mean everything! I want her to make choices based on knowledge and she wouldn't be able to do that unless I talked to her about it.
ReplyDeleteOpen communication with my boys is so important to me. I don't want them to ever feel like they can't talk to me about something.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like it was a good movie, and thought-provoking at that. My oldest is entering third grade this year, and it feels like a shift is already beginning. We have had several conversations about this possibility and of the other things out there. All we can do is keep communication as open as possible- and remind them we are ever-present.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great sounding movie - sounds like it crosses many issues - I can't believe your son was offered drugs at nine and in front of your house! WOW! (I don't have kids so had never thought of the possibility - very naive I guess) x
ReplyDeleteHONESTY! but before that, first and fore most, the bottom line is, it's your home, your kid, your rules. Regardless what the law or other people do or do not do, allow or do not allow you need your child to know it's your rules they follow in your home under your guidance until they are grown period. That goes for every topic under the sun not just drugs.
ReplyDeleteNow honesty. The best way to get your kids to understand this is something you are against and will not allow or tolerate is to be honest. Don't use the easy way out and say it's illegal. So what if it's illegal. There are a lot of laws that are stupid and need readjusted and kids are not stupid they know this and hear this. Simply saying it's illegal is not enough. Tell them why it's illegal, why you are against it, how it can effect them, their family, their friends. If you've had experience tell them if not don't pretend you have. etc etc.
I'll watch shows like weeds but I don't do drugs, and I am worried about my kids for the future.
ReplyDeleteNo kids here yet, but this sounds like a good movie! I'll have to check it out!
ReplyDeleteWe watched this movie too
ReplyDeleteSome parts of the plot were a bit much but overall a feel good
Wow sounds like this movie is a must see for parents and teenagers.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty open with my 7 and 9 year old. I tell them to tell a teacher or myself and never to keep a secret. Luckily it has not happened yet but I know it will.
ReplyDeleteIt's so scary to think about your kids being pressured to do drugs. When my daughter went off to college, I really worried about people trying to convince her to do drugs. I talked with her about how I did not agree with drugs, and how they could ruin your life. I like to think she took it to heart.
ReplyDeleteI hate that I have to even think about this with my oldest, who's 9. But I know I need to have these conversations, even this young.
ReplyDeleteLike DeDa Studios, our kids also go through the DARE program here in Ohio. It really sparked a lot of wonderful conversations about what my husband and I expect of our kids, how harmful smoking and drugs are to your body, etc.
ReplyDeleteYour son being offered the drug by his friend.... at such a young age... Wow. This makes me feel afraid. My daughter just started school this week and I'm already thinking maybe I need to explain drugs and the consequences.. ugh. I'd be proud of yourself and your son for him turning his "friend" down and telling you right away.
ReplyDeleteI've never herd of this movie before, looks like something I need to give a watch.
ReplyDeleteI haven't heard of this movie but now that I have I want to see it. Love the cast.
ReplyDeleteI've really wanted to watch that movie. Thanks for the reminder. I guess as long as you can keep the discussion open with your son, you're halfway there. So scary that kids are confronted with all of this at such a young age.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine being fine with a 14 year old child smoking pot. I thought my kids would be young enough that I don't have to have this conversation yet.
ReplyDeleteWhat the heck!! I wasn't offered until I was 18 and never actually tried it until I was 25. Kids these days......................
ReplyDeleteI think for some parents they figure it is better for their kid to do this stuff at home and they know about it rather than go do it with someone else and risk getting in trouble. I have family members who allowed there kids to smoke pot. The figured they should make their own choices and suffer the consequences of those choices. And if the did drink and smoke pot at least they were doing it where they could see them. Generally telling kids no makes them curious. While there are good kids out there, we all know that kids do hide things and experiment. My mom used to always tell me that if I wanted to try anything, I should come to her. I just never was interested in that stuff. So, not only does it depend on the parent, its going to depend on the kid too.
ReplyDeleteMy sister is a meth addict. We had to raise her daughter for a year while she attempted to get clean, so my kids have first hand knowledge of how drugs really mess up ones life. They don't want to end up like their aunt, so they know to stay away from drugs.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in Jamaica, where marijuana grows like weeds in our yard. I have never once had the desire to smoke it. Most of the kids I grew up with never smoked it either. I can't understand what is so appealing about it. I think the allure is more about curiosity. Because we saw it all the time, we were never curious
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen or heard of this movie but want to watch it now. Adding to my Fall Film Challenge. On a side note, I wasn't ready to have these talks yet but guess I need to......
ReplyDeleteI think the best way to inform your kids is to warn them of the dangers, tell them of the consequences and the addictions, and just hope for the best. It's scary to think that the age is getting lower and lower, but it's true. It's seems that the human race is getting more and more dependent on drugs, and it's a shame. Good luck with your son though, I'm sure he will continue to do well and make the right decision!
ReplyDeleteI have never seen this movie before, but I think it is important to have the drugs talk. Amber N
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing is when the kids are raised it's okay. I've got four kids...two who are grown, one who is a teen, and I've seen my fair share of parents who smoke/grow/sell pot and think it's perfectly fine for their kids to do the same. I just don't get it.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a great movie. I interned in a county that grew marijuana illegally so I know how that could affect the kids. 90% of the kids in that county has tried 1+ drugs before graduating, so sad.
ReplyDeleteI have had numerous talks with my boys. I have told them that they should say no and i told them that they need to tell me everything and I won't be reactive. I also have them watch videos of what drugs do to ruin your life. I pray they never do them.
ReplyDeleteDrugs, sex, racism and many other hard topics have to be discussed with children at an early age. Children see and hear so much and when we don't tell them our desires and expectations, they decide what to do based on someone else's advice.
ReplyDeletei hope my kids aren't stupid enough to accept any offers like this. It's so hard to overcome peer pressure but I hope i raised them right
ReplyDeleteI think keeping the lines of communication open is important. Be prepared for no matter what the kids tell you. when you over react, they shut down and no longer talk. I have one in college and two in high school. So we have dealt with many issues
ReplyDeleteI have this in my Netflix queue! The issue is certainly tricky especially since some areas have legalized it. It is something to consider for sure.
ReplyDeleteI have not seen this movie yet. I do want to see it soon. I Cant believe your son was offered pot at 9!! I am glad he came to you and told you what happened. I would have contacted the other child's parents.
ReplyDeleteWe've told our kids how we feel about drugs. Whether they decide to use them or not will be up to them but they have been made aware of the dangers and our views. My daughter was actually offered drugs when she was on a mission trip to Portland this summer but she said no.
ReplyDeleteI have been meaning to watch this! Thanks for the reminder!!
ReplyDeleteYou can and should be very proud of your son and for your parenting. Whatever you put in place worked and hopefully it will continue to work.
ReplyDeleteMy 6-year-old nephew already has some awareness about drugs. Not anything specific, of course, but at least knowing that they are bad and something to want to avoid. As he gets older more info will come in time.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you shared more about the movie. I prefer knowing about things like pot scenes before I potentially get asked by my kids.
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of this movie before. It sounds interesting - I may have to check it out.
ReplyDeleteI experimented in high school myself, but I never told my kids. Since I never drank at all from the point I got pregnant until after the kids had left for college, my kids naturally followed suit and were quite vocal about their distaste for underage drinking. My daughter was super popular but she made it very clear to her friends (who did drink) that she would not be socializing with them in situations where drinking took place. She hung out with them at school, but had a separate group of friends for weekends. They drink the occasional drink now but they're both well over 21.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I feel... not.for us either but our kids are currently living with us in India where pot is illegal but grows all over. I am not against pot but I am against mind altering drugs for kids.
ReplyDeleteI've tried my own fair share in my lifetime, but it's not something that I ever really got into. Although my oldest is only 8, I have no clue how on earth our drug talk will go when it comes.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't heard of this one. Thanks for sharing with me. I'll probably wind up watching it when they put it on Netflix.
ReplyDeleteI've been very honest with my teens and they've asked lots of questions. So far, so good. I'm hoping they never really have to deal with it until they're older and wiser. I still have 2 little one's though.
ReplyDeleteMy son is so small. I cringe thinking about having that conversation
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen this movie. Sounds interesting. Luckily, I haven't had to have this talk with my kids yet. They are two and four. Not looking forward to the day when I do have to talk about this stuff with them. It has to be done though.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is only 7 so we haven't talked about this just yet but let me just say that the best you can do is teach them why drugs are bad and why you hope that would never do them. You can't prevent them from doing it. My parents always drilled it into me but guess what I still tried pot as a teenager. It was nasty and I never tried it or any other drugs again. Your kids have to make choices as they grow and choices to try drugs or not will be one of those.
ReplyDeleteWe have a D.A.R.E program in our middle school at 6th grade. Along with this I keep telling my kids they that is something they should never experiment with.
ReplyDelete