Hello my name is Heidi and Jeanine had asked me to write a guest blog today. I am 28, mother of 2 and in love with my other half. Today I would like to talk about family, more along the lines of extended family.
We have a four and a half year old daughter and an 18 month old son. When we first had my daughter both of our families were very involved, always interested and wanted to participate. As time passed it almost seemed like the novelty wore off and those same in laws that were once involved really didn't seem to care anymore. My parents still till this day play an active roll which I am completely thankful for.
We were the first ones in either one of our families to have kids so we knew there would be no cousins, but I think we hoped one day. I always remember playing with my cousins growing up and I loved it. Unfortunately my brother, who is an amazing uncle is 9 years younger then me and isn't ready. My partners siblings don't have any children yet either. Many people that I talk to have these crazy involved families and cousins and parties etc. Sometimes I wish we had that for our kids. This whole family disconnect that we have been faced with used to be extremely hard on us, but we have learned to take it in stride. We now more then ever realize that our children are precious gifts. We still can't comprehend why some family wouldn't want to be involved but we know we are doing the best that we can and that they are the ones who are ultimately missing out.
For now we will continue to be as involved as we can be. I don't want my kids to ever feel like they missed out on family. We have lots of friends that have kids so that definitely helps keep them socialized and active. We have our daughter is 3 activities per week, which keeps her nice and busy. She just spent last Saturday at my parents for a sleepover, she adores them and hates coming home haha. My son is very active and always on the go. It won't be long until he can have an activity all to himself instead of having to sit and watch his sister.
Maybe one day things will get back to where they used to be. Hopefully one day my children do have a cousin or a more involved aunt and uncle. If that never happens we will be okay. I for one am so grateful for our little family and the love we have for one another. Extended family or not this is what we have and it's really all we need.
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I'm in the same boat as you!! My babies have cousins but we don't even speak to that side of the family, my friends kids are more "cousins' then our actual family! <3
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunate but quite a few families are faced with lack of involvement from extended family. We have two kids - 4 years and 3 months. I am very close with my side of the family and they see our kids a few times during the wk even if it's only to pop in and say hi for 1/2 hr, they also have some QT most wknds.However, in-laws have probably only seen our kids about 15 - 20 times in the last 4 years... and only live about 5 mins away. It makes me sad for my kids because I don't want them growing up thinking they aren't loved, especially since they have 1 cousin who may or may not spend more time with the in-laws. I've learned to accept it for what it is and I'm thankful that our kids have one set of grandparents who are actively involved in their lives. My son especially has built a great relationship with them. If the in-laws don't care to be involved, it's their loss!
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