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I am a very honest person. Sometimes a bit too honest. Get paid twice in a month? It's okay, I'll send that money right back. Mail me 2 of the same item that I was only suppose to get 1 of? That's okay I'll let you know and offer to send it back or ask to give it away! I always go out of my way to be honest even if it ends up biting me in the butt!
One thing you may not know about me though, is that as honest as I am there is something very dishonest about me too - that is how judgemental I have become in the last few years. I am SO judgemental but at the same time too honest that it's actually gotten me to a point in my life where I had to stop all contact with some people, and regroup. It has nothing to do with anyone else, this is all on me. I felt like I would be too judgemental to others, and I would be negative and hateful for no reason. I would dislike someone for simply seeing them do things online and not even know them. I would see someone stroll through the park and think "well gee, does she have to stop and talk to me every single time?" Harsh, right? or I would see someone posting on a group or page and roll my eyes and just be pretty negative. It was bad. I, however wouldn't ever say anything that I couldn't or wouldn't say to someone's face had they asked. I always own what I say and do, but it wasn't always right. Is that dishonest? I'm not sure if that's exactly the right word, but it sure made me feel that way.
I didn't want my kids to overhear me talking or thinking like this so I put a stop to it right away. Although I'm still pretty judgy, I do make an effort to talk to people, get to know who they are before I form any real opinions. I've noticed forcing myself to do this leaves me in better moods, and I dislike people a whole bunch less! Even some I disliked a few months ago have become great friends, and yes I did tell them my original thoughts - but getting to know them proved that it was an issue on my end, and nothing to do with them.
Is there something about yourself you think you need to re-evaluate and work on? I think this will be something I'll always have to work on and not let get out of control again... But at least I am trying and so far so good.
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Posts
Great post. We aren't perfect and I love that you are pinpointing some things that you could work on. We would all be better people if we did this.
ReplyDeleteAmazing post. One of my best friends, shucks more like a sister, formed a bad opinion of me the first time she met 10 years ago. She took the time to get to know me though and now we are family to each other.
ReplyDeleteMy issue is the blind trust I put in everyone. It was bad for a few years and let all sorts of heartache occur now I'm willing to not judge people but I don't trust them 100% until they prove I can.
The first step in any self-improvement is to be able to see the things we do ourselves and correct them. That is a way better lesson you are teaching your children. They will grow up seeing you struggle with being overly honest and trying to curb your judgement of others. I think it will teach them to be more open and honest themselves.
ReplyDeleteI think most everyone has a tendency to judge others one way or the other. It can be tough not to.. My problem is giving people too many chances and over trusting everyone.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! I have been trying very hard of not being judgmental of others! It's not an easy thing to stop!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I think every one has times when they are judgmental of others and it is hard to not be I think it is just human nature.
ReplyDeleteWe aren't perfect creatures and its perfectly natural to be judgmental from time to time.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your honesty here. I think its something that we have all been guilty of on occasion. I've also been guilty of being "too honest" and hurting someone's feelings.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people are judgemental today, we judge people right before we meet them all the time.
ReplyDeleteIt's great to be honest and yourself. I think we all find ourselves being judgmental at times.
ReplyDeleteThis is a fantastic post. I find we are such a judgmental society these days.
ReplyDeleteI know I can be judgmental (I'm working on that.) I also tend to hold a grudge. I still don't like a few people from high school (you know...18 years ago) because of how they bullied me in middle school. It's time I let that go.
ReplyDeleteBrave post to acknowledge a flaw publicly. No one is perfect, we all have things to work on - once I fix one, there's always something else I need to fix!
ReplyDeleteNone of us are perfect, but when we can acknowledge our flaws; that's a big step. I've found myself becoming more judgmental as I get older.
ReplyDeleteI definitely have tendencies to be judgmental but I catch myself and scold myself when I notice it. I guess it is human nature sometimes but if we are working on it and trying to do better then we are going in the right direction.
ReplyDeletesuch a meaningful post, I think we can all get to judgmental all times, congrats at having the courage to identify it in yourself and work on stopping it.
ReplyDeleteI think most all of us fall into the judgemental category. It is human. I don't like it, but thats the way it is.
ReplyDeleteI get soooo skeeved out when I walk into an overly religious store like Altar'd state. It give me the heebie jeebies and I feel like a vampire. I'm judging religion on another level and I don't even know it.
ReplyDeleteWe all have stuff we wish were better at, but acknowledging it is half the battle won. For me, I've had many 'near death' experiences since childhood actually, and they have all helped me to be more tolerant and aware that everyone is dealing with something, and that something may not always be obvious or visible.
ReplyDeleteTracy @ Ascending Butterfly
Very nice post. I tend to go off now and then like that. I catch myself and put a stop to it
ReplyDeleteI am also very honest. I don't like to receive what I don't deserve in the way you described above.
ReplyDeleteKnowing our faults is the only way we can make ourselves better people. I use sarcasm A LOT and I know not everyone likes it as much as I do. I try to hold back when I'm around new folks or at work, but sometimes it slips out.
ReplyDeleteYou're right about the example for the kiddos. Kudos to you for thinking of it, I know a lot of adults don't. :)
ReplyDeleteI think I need to work on my lack of focus lately. I've become the ultimate procrastinator when it comes to blogging and other online work, and I then I get so upset with myself because of it. It's like a viscous cycle that I need to stop!
ReplyDeleteIt all starts with taking a long look at ourselves and knowing what needs to change. If only we would all do this every once in a while
ReplyDeleteThank you for the reminder. It is very hard not to judge even though we know it's not good!
ReplyDeleteThis is such an important reminder for all of us. Thank you for being honest!
ReplyDeleteI love that you're being honest on how judgmental you've become - that's a huge deal! We all have out faults, and knowing what they are at least allows us to change them.
ReplyDeleteWe all have something. It's what makes us human, right? I've actually gotten much better about being judgmental. I try to think of why people may do the things they do.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a strong person to recognize something they want to change and then do something about it. Goof for you for working to make a change.
ReplyDeleteYou are making a smart decision that is also kind. I think the world would be a better place if we kept our thoughts as nice as we make our words.
ReplyDeleteDon't be too hard on yourself. It's great that you're conscious of who you are, but remember that no one is perfect :)
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you can acknowledge that about yourself! I have a tendency to be judgmental at times, but I try to keep it to myself!
ReplyDeleteI think we all have something in us that make us get a little judgmental at times. I know I am guilty of dong it occasionally too.
ReplyDeleteI find I become more judgmental if I am tired, stressed, or if my husband is working a lot of hours. Because I am aware of it, though, I am practicing keeping my mouth shut and my thoughts pure.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I really need to work on taking on too much and then not feeling like I complete any task well. I'm all over the place and need to refocus!
ReplyDelete~Amanda
I think that we all tend to be judgmental at times. Much easier to catch yourself when you're bringing up littles
ReplyDeleteI can be really judgmental too. It's so easy to assume the worst in others sometimes. I am working on it though.
ReplyDeleteI agree that we tend to be judgmental, especially if we're tired, hungry, sick or pms-ing (it's true!). Good for you on trying to better yourself in that area.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone has been judgmental at times. Making sure we adjust how we view others is key.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. Everyone can be judgmental. It is great you decided to take action to change and set a great example for your kids.
ReplyDeleteNone of us are perfect. It is good that you recognize what things you need to work on. We all have stuff we need to work on.
ReplyDeleteI can so relate. Sometimes I am a little too blunt and say things without thinking.That is rude on my part, and I really need to think before I say something hurtful.
ReplyDeleteI think it's always a good idea to self-assess and work on things that you need to. We all have things we can improve on.
ReplyDeleteI love that you allowed yourself to come to this realization through self reflection. There is, and always will be, something about me that I'm working on. We all are. Works in progress...
ReplyDeleteIt's always good to reflect upon yourself once in a while. Sometimes it can be difficult to realize our own faults.
ReplyDeleteIt is awesome that you are able to realize things you want to change. Thanks for sharing your story!
ReplyDeleteIt is not always easy to see faults in yourself, but we all have them. Good for you for recognizing them and trying to work on them.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone tends to be on the judgemental side about some things. I believe it all comes down to how we were raised and what we were taught. It's good that you are willing to change your way of thinking though. Keep on keeping on. :]
ReplyDeleteI like how you own something negative about you and realize you need to work on it. My thing that I need to work on is jumping to the worst extreme possible. My blog goes down for 2 seconds? It's been deleted from the Internet and never coming back lol
ReplyDeleteThat's self-awareness at its best. I'd like to think that I would catch myself in behavior ruts like that too. I need to pay attention to myself!
ReplyDeleteI admire your honesty in your post. We all have things that need a little improvement about ourselves. I am not about to list mine here, but I am aware of them. Sometimes, when I feel overwhelmed, I just look at one need for improvement at a time. Baby steps. And when I make progress I feel really good about it.
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