The Selfie Me Vs The Real Me

I don't know if this is an issue with anyone else but who doesn't love a good selfie? I'll tell you I've come to loathe the selfie.

Why? Because I am not a fan of photos of myself in general but a selfie? Is a chore. It also isn't really me. Taking a good selfie to me is like pulling teeth. I have to make sure the angle is right, the light is a specific way, the filter has to be perfect. It's a pain.

However I have made a point of being in more photos, especially with the kids. I was told about a year ago there isn't enough photos of me so now I try, but are the photos really who I am? Not really. 

Last week I wanted to take a photo for my blog that I could use on all social media to help people know who I was, and be able to associate my photo with blog. I went through all my selfies and none of them were a true representation of me. If you were to bump into me outside on the street you most definitely wouldn't see me as my "selfie-self".

When taking photos I think about my kids. My girls mostly, and how they must feel when they see me setting myself up for a selfie, or deleting them because I just don't like them. After writing this post I've gotten a lot better about myself, but I know there's still a lot to work on. Making sure the kids see me happy with myself, and not always deleting or altering photos of myself is a huge deal to me so I have been working on this for sometime. Now it was time for me to post photos that weren't the perfect photo - not the ultimate selfie.

I asked Jordan who is so talented when it comes to photos if he would snap a few shots for me. Of course he did, and I LOVED the results. However, I was still a little nervous about posting them.

I wanted a true representation of me, who I am on a daily basis. The mom you'd see on the sidewalk, bump into and know exactly who I am... Have no idea what I'm talking about? Here's an example of my "Selfie-self" hair just right, little bit of make up and perfect lighting and angle.

Here's a photo Jordan took of me last week, no make up, no perfect hair, no perfect side angle, Just ME. Goes with the one to the right on the side bar....

I look like two different people. I'm sure this happens with a lot of people, but why? I have no answer. Except for myself which is I just generally have never liked photos of myself. My hair always looks fluffy and out of this world - it's super thick and long, I can't wear it up due to headaches and migraines so it's always the same. I rarely put make up on unless it's to go out to a fancy dinner or event.

Then it dawned on me when I was asking my husband and sister in law for advice on what photo I should use - I've spent way too much time worrying about what my photos look like, and instead I should just embrace them because I love who I am as a person, and I'm quite okay with how I look as a mom of 6 littles - I am who I am. Which, is easier said than done believe me but it's true. Why online do we feel the NEED to only post those perfect photos? I don't know but I am going to take one photo and one photo only from now on and post it. Not 40 photos of the same thing, and choose which is best! This doesn't teach our kids anything or set a good example and I don't even think we realize this. Our kids watch everything we do. My girls, always try to do things I do. 

So I took the plunge -- I posted my photo, I used it with pride and am very happy I did. No misleading, no perfect seflie, just pure honest me. I'll admit I did throw on that "Mayfair" filter from Instagram because I LOVE the deep colours and how bright photos come out, but the rest? Is what it is!

Do you like taking selfies? Do you often find photos are a true representation of you?

Little Me On Halloween

I was going through a photo album last night and found a few photos from Halloweens of the past. Of myself! So I thought it would be fun to take a look - I didn't post a Flashback Friday yesterday so this can count as that! My kids got a really big kick out of looking at these photos of me from Halloween as a kid, so why not share with you all too! I remember all these times, such happy times for me with my mom. I loved Halloween and am glad I'm able to share all these with my kids too!

Witch

Yep, I think most girls went out as a Witch a time or two, right? I dig the green hair.

Indian

I don't even know when this was but I love it. My Grandma had this costume at her house so I figured why not. I also had a FULL snow suit on under this and mittens because it was a BLIZZARD outside!

Biker Chick

This was made out of a Cardboard box. HA. My mom's boyfriend at the time had this exact same ZX6 Motorcycle and he made it for me. I thought it was the cats meow.

Baby

This was a few years ago with my kiddos, I was pregnant with Jackson at the time - Chubby:). It was the first time as an adult I dressed up because my kiddos asked, and I will be again this year :D

What was your favorite Halloween costume as a child??

SURPRISE!

My Birthday isn't until July 29th so you could imagine my shock and excitement when my husband and Jordan went out for a quick little shopping trip early afternoon yesterday and came home with a little surprise for me! They got me a Nikon camera!

I already have a digital camera, a Canon but in the beginning of last summer it stopped working. I tucked it away and just relied on my iPhone. Well, after attending some concerts and live event's we quickly realized iPhone's are perfect for all occasions and lighting conditions. We had talked about getting me a new camera for some time, so I was truly thrilled when they got me this one! It's a Nikon Coolpix L830. I absolutely love it. It isn't a huge fancy DSLR or anything extravagant but it's a big upgrade from all my previous cameras and it's perfect for me, and what I need a camera for. I love it, and took it outside today for a few test images. I need to figure it out still, as I just got it last night after I got home from the boys' soccer games at 9pm but I think it will be easy and quick to figure out!

I can't get over the zoom on this camera. I took a photo of an Airplane that was extremely far and we could hardly see it from where we were and was shocked at what I saw... Just check out some of the shots I got:

 

Jayden was home so he volunteered to take some action shots with me, and I think they turned out pretty great! I am sure I will get lots of use out of this camera. I'm over the moon with it! 

Ripley's Aquarium Of Canada

Friday was my son Jayden's 5th Birthday. He had a great day, an amazing Birthday cake, all the gifts he wanted... But he also specially requested I take him to the brand new Ripley's Aquairum here in downtown Toronto. Of course, I jumped at it and made a date with him for Sunday after dad got off work. He ask all weekend if Jordan could come too.. I said yes, because I plan to take the girls together in the coming weeks. They love doing things together like this so we'll go for a day in the next few weeks!

It's a pretty penny to get in. $28.98+tax for Adults, $19.98+tax for youth and $9.98+tax for children.

Got there at 7:15, and left just after 9pm. We all had a blast. 

I tried to get as many photos as I could but there was just so much to see, and most of the fish were so fast... I did the best I could and got over 100 photos -  so, here are just some of my favorites from our trip!

Being so close to all this was absolutely incredible. It didn't take us long to see it all though, so the cost would hold me back from going again aside from taking my girls to enjoy it first of course. We were there so long because I let the boys play in the play area for about 40 minutes, then we went back into the shark area to watch them because they are incredible creatures. I am really glad we went and got to experience this. I'm actually looking forward to taking my girls and hopefully being able to sit a little longer to look at the jelly fish and huge tanks full of tropical fish in the Rainbow Reef.  Jayden had so much fun he couldn't wait to go to school to show all his friends his shark tooth necklace I got him in the gift shop! This is a great attraction in Toronto, So amazingly gorgeous.

Memory Book

If you've read the blog for a while, or followed me on any social media you would know I lost my mom to lung cancer when I was 16 years old. She was just 48. It's something I don't often talk about, but when I do (her birthday, anniversary of death etc) I can sometimes get a bit carried away in regards to it.

I'm not sure why but I still don't think I've fully processed the whole entire thing. I was in a weird place when she died, I was angry at her for getting sick - she smoked so I blamed the whole thing on her. I wasn't nice, at all. But even now, almost 13 years later and I still think she may walk in that front door one day. Kinda sad, and a bit scary considering she has been gone a while.

Anyways, I have kept in touch with her best friend that she was so close with for 20+ years, who I grew up very close with. We speak often, and would visit often when I lived back home. Now she lives 2.5 hours away in the town I used to live and every single year I've forgotten her Birthday. Sure I have 6 kids and am busy, but that is no excuse. She always remembers my kids on all holidays and Birthday's so this year I made it my mission not to forget hers!

I spoke with her on Mother's Day and I flat out asked her again when her Birthday is. June 17th she says with a snicker and tells me "Your mom always thought it was in May too!" - oops! Totally thought I had forgotten it, but was thrilled I hadn't.

I decided on a photo book from Shutterfly. At first I had planned to make the book with photos of my kids, but now that she has her own Grandbabies I didn't want to step on any toes, or anything so I got the idea to make a memory book for her of my mom. My mom loved her dearly, and they were always on the phone, visiting at each others houses or having coffee. She delivered the eulogy at my mom's funeral and was basically the only person who had promised to make sure I'd be okay that actually did just that. She was my rock. She had also told me she has 1 photo of my mom, one! That's it - so I knew I had to do this!

So yesterday, I made the book. I was a little hesitant because a few months ago we had a flood in our basement and all of my photo albums from when I was a child got ruined. Badly, water damaged and ruined.. Luckily, I found 2 albums that were hiding in my bedroom closet. 1 my grandma had made me, and 1 from my mom and dads wedding. It was perfect.

I decided to make the book photos and friendship quotes. Ones that could relate to them, and how much she meant to my mom. The program kept telling me "This photo is low quality" but I couldn't really help it as I was limited with the photos I had, not to mention had to use photos of photos. BUT, I'm hopeful it will turn out. If not, Looks like she may end up with a personalized Erin Condren address book!

Going through the photos brought back a lot of memories. Mostly wonderful, teary memories that I hope to one day be able to share with my kids as they grow. I hope my moms best friend likes this gift. I was a little unsure at giving someone a memory book for a Birthday but I wanted to give her something special, meaningful and that she would appreciate. She has 1 photo of my mom so I think this is something she will cherish.

Here's just a few of the photos I decided to put in the book...

She is missed.