Sister Code

My girls are very close in age. I mean 10 months apart close. So this can pose a challenge for us all quite often. Both girls are extremely smart, funny, witty, caring and overly emotional typical 6 and 7 year olds. They are sisters so they are bound to bicker and love each other one minute while hating each other the next, but it's gotten to the point now we've had to separate them - they've both had their own rooms now for almost a year as sharing DID NOT work. 

We've many heart to heart talks with both of them individually and together but it doesn't matter, they are constantly at each other. We've given them space, gotten them to walk away if they feel the other is bothering them, and have some time to themselves. I just never really understood this kind of behaviour - I am one of 4, but all my siblings are older than me and were basically out of the house when I was this age. So, I'm a bit lost here.

I am still not sure if it's because of the age they are at right now, the fact that they are so close in age, or just because they are sisters. My sister is older than me by more than 10 years, so I can't really say I relate to what these two are going through. I know that when they get older it will come back up again, and will probably get worse. But at this age, I don't think it should be like it is at least not yet!

So, we've come up with a "Sister Code" that seem to be working for the time being.

1. Be kind: no using harsh words, telling each other to shut up or that you don't like each other.

2. Help!: offer to help each other if you see someone is struggling with something.

3. Mind each other's feelings: be uplifting - find something nice about each other's outfit, hair, story or day that you can compliment each other on at least once a day!

4. Hug it out: instead of using your harsh words and hands, hug tightly and for longer than 5 seconds!

5. SMILE: you are sisters. Be there for each other and you'll never be alone!

We've made this into a check list for them and they like keeping track of all the things they follow through with on the list for the last two weeks. There is no reward or incentive besides being a good sister and they both are completely smitten with this idea. My girls love each other, as do sisters - but they won't get along 24/7. I get that, they get that too. But right now basically every little thing they do right now gets on each other's nerves, so we had to try something constructive. 

It won't be like this forever - but when the teen years come, it will get WORSE. So I'm trying these solutions now to see how things go in hopes that when the teenage years roll around it won't be too bad.... I'm hopeful!