With world breastfeeding week coming to a close today I figured it would be a good day to post about this very topic, breastfeeding or more importantly just feeding our babies!
I have 6 children but have only exclusively breastfed 2. I attempted with 2 others but failed miserably at 2 weeks with both of them. Both times ending with mastitis and me switching to formula.
OH NO DID I SAY FORMULA?
Yep. 4 of my babies have had formula and guess what? They are smart, happy and extremely healthy. All 6 of my kids are in fact extremely smart, happy and healthy! I am okay with this, and don't love some babies more than others, or think some will do better in life than the others...
I am really tired of all the formula feeding vs breastfeeding fights. I am also really tired of the "OMG you are breastfeeding in public? COVER UP!" Comments too. How rude can you be?
I would just like to say on the 9th of this month Justin and I will have hit 11 months. He does eat solids now but that doesn't stop him from breastfeeding every 3-4 hours still. Yep, you read that right. In addition to breakfast, lunch and dinner PLUS snacks during the day... He nurses every 3-4 hours. It's okay, I feel the e-hugs.
I don't mind it, I actually am very proud of where we are at and am cherishing this while I can. Jackson quit himself at 14.5 months and although we hit a year and I'm so very proud of that, I wanted to hit 2 years. So, while I may have some experience under my belt I still however am nervous out in public. Even more so now because he rips the blanket off, so I can't cover up. I do wear layers even in the 80+ degree weather. No one has ever, or can ever see anything at all and Not because I'm worried about what Tom, Dick or Harry has to say but because I'm just a shy person.
It really breaks my heart to see comments I do all over the internet regarding breastfeeding and moms should "cover up when out in public!" What comments? Hmmm..
"I don't want to see that cover up"
"Go sit in the bathroom to breastfeed!"
"I didn't come out in public to see your boobs"
"Breastfeeding is bonding, no need to shove it in anyone's face. Do it in private"
First of all, while in the beginning breastfeeding is huge for bonding yes, and yes it still very much is throughout - but to be very blunt; it's feeding a baby. Also, I know I don't breastfeed in public to shove it in anyone's face, I do it because my baby is hungry and will NOT take a bottle or a sippy cup yet.
How can I put it simply? Breastfeeding has nothing to do with YOU. It's about that person who is breastfeeding's child needing to be fed, and possibly comforted. Whatever the reason may be, a breastfeeding mother and child isn't any harm to you or anyone else so why does it matter? I don't think I will ever know the answer to that.
I do know that most comments I read, or hear are from other women. Any comments from men are generally sexual, which I won't even touch on - but other women? That is very, truly sad.
I understand not everyone wants to breastfeed, or if they want to but can't.. I get that, I really do. But there is no need for anyone to bash breastfeeding or formula feeding either for that matter. As long as a baby is well taken care of, loved, and healthy why does it matter?
I know if I was a young mom with zero support, and just starting out with my family if I heard some of these comments it would most definitely interfere with my breastfeeding relationship with my children, especially out in public. Not everyone has support, and encouragement and not everyone can just brush off the comments or deal with them the same way. If someone were to say these things to me today, I would most definately tell them what I thought but not everyone is like that. It's a real shame.
My children know breasts are for feeding babies. They did before I breastfed my youngest two. Sure as they get older they will realize they can and do often get used for other things, but there general purpose is breastfeeding. I used to think back when I was without children I wouldn't ever breastfeed in public or want to see it because "OH MY GOSH WHAT IF MY CHILD or ANOTHER SEES THAT?" Now, I say - oh well, explain that's what breasts are for and move on...
Isn't that simple? I think so. Most kids are curious and would ask questions, it would be a great time to educate them properly about breasts.
I decided today was a great day to write this post because of comments I saw to this photo of Olivia Wilde and her gorgeous baby boy, Otis. While I know a lot of people are all "OMG HER BABY IS NAKED IN A DINER!" - note its a photo shoot, and shes really not out to a diner with a naked baby, and focus on the true beauty of the photo.
Photo credit: Glamour magazine - glamour.com
Not everyone has to agree, and not everyone has to "feel" one way or another about breastfeeding or formula feeding.. But, it goes both ways. Formula Feeding and Breastfeeding mothers absolutely hate being labeled, and hate being made to feel bad about their choice. THEIR choice - At the end of the day, feel how you want to feel, own it, but also remember: Feeding ones baby isn't about you, and your comfort it's about the baby and the babies comfort. Babies have to eat, from breast or bottle and regardless of how our babies are fed... They are fed. That is truly what matters. So ladies, feed those babies and be proud - you are doing the absolute best you can for that beautiful baby of yours!
Our babies need to eat. Breastfeeding or
Bottle Feeding it doesn't matter. Happy bellies, and healthy babies is
all that matters!
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I am just in my 4th month of finally being able to breastfeed. With my two daughters, neither would latch so I pumped for about 4-6 months each. It was hard and eventually we went to formula too. With my son it has definitely been a learning experience. I had the mentality of "I will feed my child wherever I want" but until the time actually came I didn't realize how insecure I would actually be. But now, 4 months into it, I have learned how to get him to latch and unlatch quickly and without anyone seeing a thing (at first that is hard to do since you're both learning still).
ReplyDeleteGoing to BlogHer last month made me really open up since I was surrounded by so many mothers who were feeding their baby, mother's on the plane feeding their baby, ect. It made me feel that I wasn't alone. This past weekend I was at Universal Studios and I fed him wherever we were. Restaurant, ride Child Swap area, middle of the theme park on the bench - I didn't care! It felt so empowering and amazing to have that confidence.
What people don't realize is that it may be simple to say "cover up" but it's not that simple. It is hot and who wants something covering their face? Never mind, while you eat but in general! In the restaurant I was wearing a dress so I had to pull it down and under myself well I tried putting my [clean] napkin cover the top of my breast but Ben wouldn't even be happy with that. It would touch his face or nose and he instantly grabbed it over and over again to move it. Eventually I said eff it and left it off. Of course I got some stares but it was better than hearing him scream!
So sweet! I covered with my first and at first with my second. After breastfeeding her for 18 months and having my third it all went out the door. It's beautiful and I'm proud to have that bond with my girls.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't able to breastfeed my son, who is now 6. I am in the 2% that literally can't lactate, because of a rare disorder. I appreciate, and applaud, women who are able to nurse and think that baby's should be fed wherever and whenever they are hungry. My children have been taught that some babies drink milk from a bottle and some babies drink milk from their mama. They are remarkably unphased whenever they see a nursling and they only thing they have ever said is "Oh, isn't that so beautiful."
ReplyDeleteI breast fed all my babies my youngest until he was almost 2. That was only due to me getting really sick, thank goodness I did or he would still be wanting to nurse. LOL
ReplyDeleteI formula fed both of my babies from day one. I knew breastfeeding wasn't for me and I make no apologies for it.
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest, when people start preaching on the benefits of breast feeding over formula, I just tune them out. And I breasted my daughter. LOL
ReplyDeleteI didn't breast feed my Daughter. I wish I would have and probably should have since she had allergies.
ReplyDeleteThanks for shedding light on this. I'm not a momma but I see so much controversy over this topic. As long as the baby is happy, healthy and being cared for - who gives if it's from breastfeeding or formula?
ReplyDeleteI never understood why people get so weird about breastfeeding. These same people who are bugged by it will go to the zoo and watch animals nurse without thinking twice. Its all natural. Its only a bid deal because you are making a big deal about it. Thats what I think anyway.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your post. Yes, they do need to eat and has mothers and fathers we all do our best to do it how we feel fit. I applaud Olivia Wilde for doing this.
ReplyDeleteI don't really understand why people get so bent out of shape over it. If they don't want to breastfeed, that's fine, but if other people do, that's fine as well. Why the controversy at all? Hungry people need to eat!
ReplyDeleteI 100% agree with you. I don't care how women feed their babies... as long as they are fed, I am good!
ReplyDeleteMine is adopted so we actually looked into a milk bank, but none were available 11 years ago. That's why I can't believe none of my in-laws wanted to breast feed, they thought it was gross. I know it is not super convenient, but if I had the choice, the better nutrition for my child would be my priority. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteI don't get the weirdness or disgust people feel towards breastfeeding. It's feeding your child, There are so many inappropriate things that we see each day this is definitely not one of them.
ReplyDeleteI saw a lady at the zoo, standing up breastfeeding her baby with no coverup. I touched her shoulder and smiled at her. I love it when I see mama's breastfeeding!!! I dare anyone to walk up to me, when I am feeding my baby and tell me to cover up or stop. They would get an earful!!!
ReplyDeleteI love that some people are so passionate about breastfeeding but wish they would understand that some people can't or don't want to for whatever reason. Both of my girls were formula fed and turned out healthy, happy and smart and both bonded with me. Hopefully we'll start seeing more tolerance for breastfeeding in public.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I think breastfeeding versus bottle feeding is a personal choice, and no one has a right to judge it. Studies have shown that breast feeding imparts some of the mother's immunities to the baby, and breast milk is the most easily digestible, but if you're not comfortable doing it, then don't. Regarding breast feeding in public... It's a BOOB people. Get over it. Here, let me help. Boob, breast, tata, boobie... see? It's not so bad. It's a purely natural, beautiful thing.
ReplyDeleteMy son wouldn't take breastfeeding but my daughter loved it. I had to give my son formula.
ReplyDeleteBreast feeding or bottle is a personal choice. All my children are awesome and I no way that it mattered whether I did breastfeed or not. BTW I only did one.
ReplyDeleteThere is a lot of criticism both ways in parenting - kind of out of control! I do think that picture is silly and overly posed - I mean there isn't even anything on the table and yeah, who would have their baby naked in a diner? (And why would you be wearing a cocktail dress in that diner anyway?) :)
ReplyDeleteI am so over it. I am over the boobie battle! As long as the kid is fed either by breast or bottle- they are fed and the mom is doing their best. Get over it people!
ReplyDeleteI exclusively breastfed all 3 of mine. But my thoughts on feeding babies is: your boobs, your business. I'll admit that that pic of Olivia Wilde just sort of made me shake my head. While I don't think anyone has to use a cover(I did sometimes and sometimes not), I think the way she's doing it is a little odd. BF is usually really discreet.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter-in-law feeds her baby girl in public. She does get looks and comments. I don't know what the big deal is... the last time she got one when I was with her we were surrounded by young ladies with little left to the imagination on the beach for crying out loud. No one was telling them to cover up, and my DIL doesn't cover up like I did, but she's still subtle and she was showing far less than most people around her.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I was more discreet when I bf, people can just not look if they choose to not look. But if they can't stop looking then it is on them and not on the mom.
ReplyDeleteI think this is absolutely beautiful! So glad that Glamour is celebrating breastfeeding!
ReplyDeleteI breastfed my daughter for 3 years and the first year she had strictly breast milk. I think it is ridiculous when people say to cover up. There is no reason to. People need to mind their own business and get over their irrational fears.
ReplyDeleteI am so tired of the breastfeeding, formula feeding, nursing in public thing too. Do what is best for your family. I know I do! Get over it people!
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why there is so much dilemma over this. People should do what is best for them. There is no good in shaming people for their decisions.
ReplyDeleteThis is a personal and controversial topic for so many people. I formula fed my babies and they are very smart :)
ReplyDeleteGood for you Momma! To each their own. You as a mommy knows what's best for your babies.
ReplyDeleteI'm tired of the formula vs. breastfeeding fight as well.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has their own personal opinion. As long as you're doing what's best for your child, there really is no right or wrong way to feed a baby.
ReplyDeleteI have 3 formula babies and one breastfed baby. I do not see any difference in any of them. I just wanted healthy happy babies.
ReplyDeleteI wish the mommy wars would stop...I think we are all just trying to be the best mom to our children as we can be...that journey is individual. We need to stop the judgement and start supporting moms. <3 Great post.
ReplyDeleteI love what Jessica said, not sure I could have said it better. If you breast feed, I support you. If you bottle feed I support you. If you formula feed, I support you. And I support you to do any or all of those things anywhere you damn well please.
ReplyDeleteI breast fed my daughter so I definitely support you and all mothers who breast feed their babies
ReplyDeleteI support healthy babies. That can obviously happen with formula or breast milk. Both of my babies were mainly breast fed but also had formula. No reason to attack mothers for feeding their babies. Essentially, that's what it comes down to.
ReplyDeleteOlivia WIlde is awesome and such an inspiration. Thanks for sharing your story. I agree with Camesha, I support healthy babies no matter how they get their nutrition!
ReplyDeleteI'm still breastfeeding my 20 month old son. That's a beautiful photo.
ReplyDelete