Recently it's been hard to keep Jordan on task. He wants to do all these things, go out with friends, play sports, go on the computer, text this person and text that person! It's a crazy life being an eleven year old apparently!
Jordan recently brought home a violin from music class. He said all the kids are learning different instruments. He was at first a little interested in the violin but that shortly changed and he hasn't brought it home since that first week. He's just happy he didn't get microkorg xl or something else like one of his friends got and is having some different issues. But, he says its really hard so I have told him when they allow him to bring it home again to bring it and we can try again! He gets frustrated and wants to quit, but we talked and he said he will try. He said he isn't a quitter, I just think he needed a little pep talk!
He is struggling not wanting to do homework, he has a complaint every time we ask him to do one of his normal chores. So I sat down and figured out some ways I can help him focus, get the things he needs to get done accomplished and help in anyway I can.
ENCOURAGE
I find telling him how great he plays, how wonderful his sentences for homework are and what a great example he is for his younger siblings helps.
GIVE BREAKS
If he has three pages of homework to do and really doesn't want to do it in the first place - giving short breaks between pages gives him time to get a drink, a snack and just clear his head for a few minutes.
SIT DOWN AND HELP
I take time to sit with him, help when he needs it and really just be there in case he has a question or needs a little support. I don't do any of the work for him but I watch and help as needed.
LISTEN
Often times having them talk out a problem, explain a note or speak through an answer helps them figure things out on their own.
INCENTIVES
Yep. I'm not above them. He has a cellular phone that we pay for monthly so if he wants to keep it he needs to keep up with his chores, homework and behavior at school. So a quick reminder really gets that fire going.
Jordan is extremely smart. He's also a preteen boy and extremely dramatic and once in a while mouthy. These are just some tips I've learned along the way that help us out. Maybe they can help you out, or someone you know.
Preteens are super fun, the teenage years well ... I'll need a whole new set of tips to get through that now won't I?
.jpeg)
Posts
These are great tips! I have a preteen myself that needs a little nudging sometimes. ;)
ReplyDeleteMine is a bit more than a nudge. Lol. All great tips
DeleteI'm trying to survive the 5& 6 age range now. Throw in the 18 month old, and man, I feel like my kids regularly stage coups. My 6yo son is very much a perfectionist AND wears his heart on his sleeve, so anything less than perfect sends him into a fit of tears. I find myself encouraging, listening, and then reaffirming that he doesn't have to be perfect. Pre-teens, huh? Oh my.
ReplyDeleteIncentives go a long way in my house - with both of my boys. Sometimes I flat out bribe them, but whatever works, right?
ReplyDeleteLol. Bribes hardly work anymore. My son needs some serious motivation
DeleteThese are great tips. My teen is always needing help getting things accomplished with his busy schedule.
ReplyDeleteKiddo is a few months shy of being 10. She has some attention problems that all of her parents have been working on her with for a few years now. She has older siblings so she really is aging quicker than she should so we have to help her often to stay focused and slow down.
ReplyDeleteI just had a mom talking about her pre teen the other day .. how she was struggling with his disinterest in achieving school goals.
ReplyDeleteThese are all great tips. We had an incentive plan with our son when he was little. Even though he is now 18 I still have to stay after him to clean his room and do his chores.
ReplyDeleteGreat tips! Especially the incentives one - that's always a good idea! LOL
ReplyDeleteI don't have a preteen but this sounds like my preschooler. I have to cajole him and bribe him to do anything.
ReplyDeleteGreat tips, we used a lot of those with our teenager. You have to keep trying until you find what works as every child is different.
ReplyDeleteEncouragement is important for kids of any age. And I'm not above incentives either- sometimes they need that extra push!
ReplyDeleteThese are some really smart tips. Instead of always looking for the mistakes we should praise the great things our kids do everyday.
ReplyDeleteThese are great tips! My preteen has been struggling lately.
ReplyDeleteThose are great tips. It's so hard to get kids focused when there's so much to distract them.
ReplyDeleteI remember my parents doing all those things with me - I could be awful at getting things done. x
ReplyDeleteGreat advice! You have a house full, I read over your sidebar real quick and my goodness! I'll be reading more from you for sure, you could teach me a thing or two!
ReplyDeleteEncouragement and empowerment are such important attributes when it comes to raising children. My kids give me hard time to but then I remember I was like that to as a child.
ReplyDeleteThose tips worked for me when my kids were pre-teens. All good ideas. :)
ReplyDeleteMy oldest is getting close to this age. They grow so fast!
ReplyDeleteIncentives truly worked for me, haha. Whether it be hanging out on the weekends or getting to buy that one item I wanted :P
ReplyDeleteI do not have children, but I like to keep my nieces and nephews motivated when they visit, so I try to make learning fun and sneak it in so they don't even know they are learning! It is a challenge to keep most teens motivated to study or to do chores that's for sure!
ReplyDeleteTracy @ Ascending Butterfly
These are all good tips. I had one boy interested in violin but we weren't lucky enough to have them at school. We did get him private lessons though and he played for years, he just loved it!
ReplyDeletedefinitively keeping this for when the time comes for us. Encouragement helps at all ages. Even for me
ReplyDeleteparenting is always a balancing act. kids and their moods and attitudes throw a monkey wrench into that every time
ReplyDeleteThese are great tips. We aren't there yet, but will be in a blink of an eye.
ReplyDeleteA cell phone would DEFINITELY be enough incentive for me to do the chores! ;) Great idea! Thanks for the tips.
ReplyDeleteThis is such fantastic advice. I can't imagine raising a preteen right now!
ReplyDeleteSo not looking forward to preteen years. I have a few years until I get there but it will be here before I know it.
ReplyDeleteMy 11yo is super sensitive and can have a breakdown afterschool if he feels like he has way too much to do. I've had to help him make lists and really think through how long each task takes. One piece of HW might really be 5 minutes, or just having me sign something, then it's crossed off. Seeing each item crossed off seems to help him feel like he's accomplishing each thing. Then we break up homework/chores/sports with down time and dinner.
ReplyDeleteYou put a lot of thought into finding what works best for him. I can see how the cell phone use would be a mighty incentive.
ReplyDeleteSuch agreat tips and reminders. In a few short years my son will be a preteen and I hope to use some of these with him.
ReplyDeleteGood tips - sharing with my daughter - Isa is really bad at not finishing anything.
ReplyDeleteI need to bookmark these for later. My kids are too young now, but definitely will need!
ReplyDeleteThese are all great tips. Especially giving them short breaks.
ReplyDeleteGiving breaks is a good one! My girls are still little so we aren't into pages and pages of homework yet!
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm already dealing with a preteen, and mine is only 7. Mine is tough right now, but I won't give up. I hope it's just a phase.
ReplyDeleteThese are fabulous tips.
This is a really good list of tips; I believe encouragement is very important as long as it is in a nonpressuring way!
ReplyDeleteI loved musical instruments when I was a kid and stopped as I got older. I think if you can encourage your kids to stick with it, it will pay off in the future. However, they need to enjoy whatever activity they partake in and for it not to feel like a task. If it does, I've learned, they will not do it!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great list of tips! We find this happening in our big family sometimes too.
ReplyDeleteI known some grown people who could use these tips! I'm really looking into diet modification...what we put in our bodies directly affects what comes out (fatigue, ADHD issues, etc.)
ReplyDeleteSo far encouragement and incentives are my life blood. These are great tips!
ReplyDeleteThese are great tips and I think some of us need them too :)
ReplyDeleteSuch fantastic tips! My eldest is only 5, but these are tips to grow up with! thank you x
ReplyDeleteI think these tips are great and I can even use them with my 7 year old.
ReplyDeleteListening is really important. It can be really hard to do that when you have things that you want to say yourself, or when someone else has a different opinion than yours.
ReplyDeleteGreat advice. My 12 year old boy does all these things too. Sometimes it's hard but he's cute so we'll keep him around. Love the tween years.
ReplyDeleteIncentives always are a thing that would make me get my work done as a teen. I loved being able to go out after!
ReplyDeleteBreaks are so important, especially when it comes to things like homework. Sometimes their brains go on overload!
ReplyDeleteGreat tips. Sometimes as parents we are so caught up that we tend to overlook these things. I have some issues with my teen and following some of these tips might really help.
ReplyDeleteAwesome tip! They would work well at any age too! :)
ReplyDeleteI think these tips work for easily distracted kids of any age. My boy isn't quite that old yet, but I have to use these to keep him on task.
ReplyDeleteMy son will be 12 next month and is very smart but has started to get difficult when it comes to homework, too. The thing with my son is that he is lazy. And he is... so we've always had to push him. He's a straight A student but would not be if we didn't stay on him. I'll try your tips.
ReplyDelete