GIVEAWAY: AppleCheeks STEEL ME Mini Zip!

I thought it would be fun to have a mini giveaway before my big giveaway next week (you wont want to miss that giveaway, there will be MULTIPLE winners!!) So, here is a little one to hold you over... 1 AppleCheeks mini zip all purpose sac in the beautiful new Steel Me. It ends when my big giveaway will end so I can send everything all at once.. There are lots of ways to win, good luck!

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Guest Blog: Are Smartphones a blessing or a curse?

Hey everyone it's Heidi here on another wonderful Wednesday.

Today I want to talk about SmartPhones. These fantastic little devices that are a mini computer right in our very own hands. I am an iPhone user, I purchased my first iPhone going on 3 years ago. Before I had my iPhone I just had a regular cell phone that was capable of checking email, sending text messages and making phone calls. Nothing fancy but it did the trick through my college years.

Once I got my hands on this amazing little device I immediately became hooked. Everything that I ever needed my laptop for was right in the palm of my hands. I really didn't ever need a camera because my iPhone had one. Need directions? no problem this has a GPS too. Apps for anything and everything imaginable. I went from a person who rarely used my phone, to a person who relies too heavily on my phone as do so many others. We cannot go out of the house without our phone because we feel "naked" without it. I see it everywhere I go, whether it be to a restaurant, the mall or just for a coffee. Almost everyone has their face glued into their phones instead of having conversations and genuinely enjoying someones company.

I will be the first to admit I am guilty of this myself. My phone is always around and whenever I feel bored I grab it for no other reason then something to do. There is always something to look at, an email to be checked, someone to text and a picture to be taken. I cannot speak for others but I think as a society we rely too heavily on our smartphones and tablets. Recently I have been trying to limit my iPhone time as much as possible. I am not always perfect but I am getting better. Starting tomorrow I am going to only use my phone for taking the occasional picture, while my son is napping and then again once both kids are in bed. I want to be present in my children's lives as much as I can. Having my face in a phone is not going to achieve my desired outcome. Children are only little for so long and I don't want to miss out on anything, or have any regrets.

Children need our presence more then our presents. <3 Heidi

Excitement!

Yesterday after we did some shopping I decided we needed to put our tree up. We usually have it up by now but we've been busy. 

I went to the basement into our cold room/storage room to dig out all the tree stuff. I couldn't find any of the decorations for the tree, not even the strings of lights! I couldn't figure out what the heck was going on then I remembered we threw it all out last year. Well, the lights anyway. They were all breaking and we didn't want to do multi-colored lights anymore. A lot of the balls and decorations got broken so while we did have some, the majority of them were garbage.

So I nursed the baby and ran to the store to grab some lights and decorations. I got the last 7 packs of clear lights which I am so thankful for because the clear looks so much better than the multi-colored, right?

Husband put the tree up while I grabbed the kids from school after finishing up at the store (I spent 5 minutes in the store, I grabbed everything and off I went!) when we got home there was some drama with kids not listening, and my oldest being put in his room for a bit. Once that was all settled it was time to do the tree. I let the kids decorate it however they wanted. We of  course were standing with them as I always make it a "family thing" but I let them put everything where they wanted. Every single year we all usually put the stuff on, but I get very obsessive over the tree. I would move balls around, fix garland and I ended up knocking the tree town SO MANY TIMES. Not good, so I promised them they could do it all and I wouldn't touch it what-so-ever. I haven't either, and I don't plan to. They did an amazing job and it looks fabulous!

The only thing left for us to do is the outside lights. Hubs needs to get his butt in gear and get on it. He's hoping to do it Thursday when he's off for some appointments. I'm just hoping the snow they predict doesn't end up coming because he will be mighty cold!

This morning I was woken up to loud, loud screams of "Elfie's here! Elfie's here Mom!" it was so adorable.... It came from #2, #3 and #4. Jordan is a bit too old, and Jackson/Justin are too young still. But it was so cute to wake up to. 

He of course found some of the extra garland we didn't use, hung it to the ceiling light in the living room and is just hanging out! 

All morning all we heard was "Can Elfie talk? Will he talk to us?" and "Oh, I can't wait to see where he is tomorrow morning!" the fun in this little stuffed Elf is completely heartwarming. Just an added bonus to make this time of year even more special than it already is! I am completely in the mode now, look out everyone!

Next up? Christmas shopping. Can you believe a Christmas freak like me has only bought 1 gift? My husband's. How awful right? I am hoping to go this Thursday when hubby has an extra day off for some appointments during the day. Justin and I can bundle up and head on out. I don't even know where to begin. I'm very disappointed in myself for not starting sooner. I hate crowds and I hate waiting until the last minute. This will be fun.......

When two worlds collide...

Yesterday we had Heidi, my guest blogger who post's on the blog every Wednesday over with her two adorable kiddos and her hubby. I was a bit excited, see Heidi and I met somehow online. I don't even remember how I believe on Instagram through the AppleCheeks hashtag or even through posts by AC on the official IG...

Anyway, she and I had known each other online for a while, then we started texting, and in the summer they came over for a quick visit when they were in the city... It was so awesome to finally meet her. But very out of the ordinary for me. I don't like meeting new people, and I'm not sure if it all stems from the self esteem issues I've posted about previously on here, or what. But it just never happened until I got involved with AppleCheeks.

We had a great first meeting and became even closer as friends since! I really wanted to get our kids together again as they seemed to really hit it off during our quick meet so we set it up for yesterday about a month ago! I got a little too excited and may have went a bit nuts in the snacks and food department but -- back home when I'd have people over I didn't get to really go all out and it bothered me, so now that I'm able to financially it was a lot of fun. We had veggies and dip, fruit and yogurt dip, smart food, party mix, a cheese/pickles/crescent platter, juice boxes, bottles of water, pop, breadsticks... it was super yummy and as you can see from the photo it was a bit holiday themed!

We sat around had lots of laughs, and our hubby's got chatting about some stuff... Which was nice. I'm glad they get along because we need more "couple" friends to hang out with and do this with..

For our main course we decided since I'd been so sick and didn't feel up to cooking, we'd order in. Swiss Chalet was the closest and we could order 3 of the family meals to feed everyone. We did, and it was pretty good. Heidi and her hubby stopped at a bakery on their way and got some cake.

OH MY GOSH -- BOSTON CREME CAKE. It was beyond delicious, I had never had it before. Let me tell you though - I'll be having it again. I will be now on the hunt for it closer to us. Everyone loved it and I remember at least two kids asking for seconds, but of course they didn't need it so there was some left over.

After we had dinner, and cake we sat around chit chatting some more.. Then it was picture time. Can you believe the whole time we didn't even think to get many pictures until the very end? Silly for us, I know. Considering we are obsessed with instagram you'd think we would have been taking photos of every little thing going on. But we were too busy gossiping and talking about everything from births, to food, to movies! It was really, really fun!

But yes - photo time came. I of course was nervous about photos, I'm not sure why I get like that but it's something I'm working on. Not very well, but I am. I thought this was an adorable photo! Heidi, my daughter Ava and I - of course, I had to be silly!

Cute right? I thought so! My kids absolutely adore Heidi, her hubby and their kids. Which means a lot to me because they don't have very many GOOD kids for friends. Around here they don't have many friends. School they've got a few. But it's nice for them to have friends away from school and be able to have these nights to look forward to. So it was a lot of fun!

The title of this post is "When two worlds collide" because - I never used to let my internet life which I've been online for 12+ years with blogs, livejournal, xanga, geocities.. ALL OF it. I never, ever let it collide with my real life offline. But let me tell you I am so glad I did. Not only is Heidi an amazing person, so is her hubby and kids. They are real, genuine and it's something I've always looked for in real friends - but since moving to Toronto have lacked finding because I'm a homebody, and lets be honest - this city can be scary. I'm glad I let my guard down, and I'm glad we met. I think we've become really great friends, and although she lives in a different city.. I look forward to having more of these nights. As does my hubby and super excited kids!

After they left of course my kids NEEDED to have a photo with me like the one above, of course I couldn't say no. So here we were able to squeeze 3 of them in with me! It's a silly one. It's adorable. We all had so much fun... My kids are still talking about it, telling me all the fun they had playing downstairs and eating all the food - which by the way, my kids basically ate all the snacks. They are gluttons and I have no idea where they put it. I'm in real danger come the teenage years....

I've met a few other people from the AC world as well, they are also amazing people but sadly don't live as close to me so we can't get together more often. I think it would be amazing when the weather turns nicer to invite everyone over for a huge BBQ... I think I may put it together. We shall see!

I am so thankful for everyone in my life, especially my AC mama's. They all know who they are. I've changed so much in the past few years since moving to this big city, and coming out of my shell - slowly but surely. It's amazing, and I'm so glad I am able to really enjoy all these things now with my kids and not have to worry about them being excluded or having to go out - they are my whole entire life, so having friends with kids is one of the most rewarding gifts. Especially such great friends like Heidi! We're lucky!

It's the Weekend!

Wow, I haven't posted in days. Probably because I've felt like absolute crap. I have an awful cold which started with a migraine so bad I almost had to take myself to the ER for IV fluids. Luckily, I had my hubby taking care of me and was able to rest and although it's been present for days now it's nothing like it was and I can actually function now.

So, it's the weekend once again, the kids and I have been taking it easy. They've been complaining they want to play in the snow but we haven't had any yet. This morning it started to snow for the first time this winter. I was not too thrilled but it didn't last long, and it's not very cold outside. I am really not a fan of winter. Nor am I a fan of really hot summers either. In Canada it sucks because that's usually what we get. Freezing cold winters and burning hot summers. What can ya do?

It's pretty though right? Maybe not so much in this photo, but I took a video on Instagram of it and I stole this image from that.. It lasted maybe 10 minutes, and went away. It's snowed a few times on and off since but, nothing left on the ground now. We were getting ready to head to the stores when it started. The kids ran to the window when I announced it was snowing - they jumped up and down cheering! I remember getting that excited over snow when I was younger, now not so much.

After all the excitement I had to take all 6 kids by myself to 2 stores to grab some stuff for tomorrow as we are having some guests for dinner! We are having my guest blogger and AppleCheeks ambassador Heidi and her family over! I am so excited! I haven't felt well, so we're ordering some dinner in. We were going to reschedule because I didn't want to get her or her kids sick, but luckily because I've been sick for a while I don't think I'm too contagious anymore - and she didn't mind. So I'll just steer clear of the little ones, and all should be well. None of my kids have gotten sick - I think I caught this from Jordan who went to a friends house who was sick, and I only think I caught it because my immune system is so low with breastfeeding and lack of sleep, I need to get that all back on track!

I got some goodies at the store, we got home in time for me to get the littles down for their naps. I made the kids some lunch, and was able to squeeze in washing the floors. Our floors are so dark that every speck shows up. Very difficult to keep perfect with 3 dogs in the house with light hair, especially the WHITE ones. Oy vey.

I was talking to my friend via text this afternoon when I jokingly said I wanted to look into getting a maid 2x a month to come and do all my deep cleaning for me. It was also a sour topic in one of the groups on facebook recently too, I don't see a problem with it. I've never had a maid, but now as a mom to 6 who spends most of her days cleaning up after everyone else, I wonder why not. I won't stop cleaning, I do it daily but I don't get to deep clean as much as I'd like to. It's something to consider. I may be a stay at home mom, but I work from 8-3pm every single day online. Not straight, but anytime an E-mail comes in I answer it. I pick my kids up daily at 3pm and then I come home, make dinner, clean up, load the dish washer and most nights if it's bath night  (every other night) I am doing that alone so by the time 7/730 rolls around and these kids are ready for bed, I am BEAT. No deep cleaning coming from me..... So again, something to think about.

Tomorrow I will have lots of photos to share! I can't wait to set up my table and for the kids to have more kids to play with! I haven't had people over for a "dinner party" since moving to Toronto in August 2010.. I did it lots back home so this will be fun for me! I am like a little kid when it comes to this stuff. I love it!

Now time to go dig out some of my Christmas/Holiday decorations and get them up! We need our tree and outdoor lights up soon - must get hubby on that, maybe Monday?? ;)

Guest Blog: The Great Pre Christmas De-clutter

Hey everyone, it's Heidi here for another blog on this wonderful Wednesday! In keeping with the theme Jeanine has going, I am going to discuss pre-Christmas de-cluttering. A few weeks back my 4.5 year old daughter and I went through all of the toys in the living room. We were deciding what we would keep, what we would throw out and what we would donate. We managed to accumulate 4 grocery sized bags full. To me this is crazy, our living room doesn't even have that much space. The toy storage area isn't very impressive and I really had no idea it held that much. Even though we just did it a few weeks back, I am sure we could come up with another bag of donations. It really is a never ending battle. 

Around this time of year I always feel a bit anxious at the thought of all of the presents that are going to come in just over a month. The million piece puzzle that we will manage to lose pieces to, the doctor set that ends up missing everything but the stethoscope and a band-aid , and the workbench that has everything stored on it other then a tool. This year I am trying to be more proactive then usual in my efforts to rid our house of things we really don't use. 

After organizing the toy area in the living room I feel the need to move on to bigger and better things. The kids closets, their dressers, the garage and the dreaded  basement (which is another drop off zone for toys not being used). I really hope that as a family we can get this all done. It makes me feel more relaxed knowing that my house isn't busting at the seams with "junk" more or less. Now to get the motivation to get this all done in time with all of the shopping and craziness this upcoming holiday season has to offer.

Do you de-clutter? Or are you a Pack-rat?
Let us know your tips and tricks for staying organized.  Heidi <3

It's almost that time again...

In a few short weeks it will be Christmas. Last year we started the tradition of Elf On The Shelf like a lot of other families all over the world. We didn't agree to use Elfie to scare our kids. We simply use Elfie as another way to bring Christmas joy into our home and created our own fun with him. Sure, Elfie came from the North Pole and does go every single night back to the North Pole to let Santa know what our family has done during the day BUT -- My kid's aren't terrified or scared of what might happen if they misbehave and Elfie goes back to visit Santa at night. Instead, Elfie is here so my kids can SHOW ELFIE how to be a good Elf and teach him things he doesn't know. My kids are his teachers basically.

We turned it around and instead of using it as a scare tactic, we use it as a tool to have them show what they know. My kids aren't awful during the year anyways, sure they have their moments and I can get really frustrated with how my girls behave at times but they are really great kids. They don't need to be scared into behaving. I don't believe that is what these Elves are for anyways.  

Have you ever seen the movie?

We watched the movie last year and my kids loved it. My kids love waking up every single day to see where Elfie landed after his long trip back to the North Pole. They love knowing anything they've taught Elfie that day will be reported back to Santa and maybe some other elves can learn too. It's fun for them.

Last year Jayden would color while Elfie hung on the picture behind the table - I'd catch him showing Elfie and saying "You have to stay in the lines"  he really enjoyed it, and he was only 3. 

We didn't say Elfie was a bad elf, or needed to be taught how to behave. I just told them he was here to learn and tell Santa what he learns! It's fun, a happy experience and they really enjoy it. I think if we used it as a scare tactic they would laugh and not take it seriously, at all.

My oldest who is 10 doesn't believe in Santa and hasn't for a few years - thanks to other kids ruining it for him a few years back, and us not able to save that for him. But he still plays along and it's even fun for him. And no, he's not mad at us or damaged for him believing for 7 years there was a Santa. I'm not either and I thought there was a Santa until I was 9 or 10.

Are we lying to them? I guess so, but I don't think it will damage them. It's no more of a lie than them thinking Santa is real. This is something fun and gives us something to do during the holiday's that is different than we're used to! I know people have an issue with these elves, and sometimes I've even heard people bashing those who let their kids believe in Santa. We all do what we do with our families, this is just something we do with ours to enjoy the holiday and I really think my kids learn a lot from teaching, even if it is a stuffed elf. It's fun for kids... let kids be kids for a little bit, they only get to be this age once!

109th Toronto Santa Claus Parade..

Today we took the kids to the Toronto Santa Claus parade. The 109th parade to be exact. It was fantastic. We had watched it every single year on tv but never went, even though this is our 3rd Christmas in Toronto so it was really cool to take the kids and see their faces. It was perfect weather, beautiful out and not freezing like usual!

Some people in Toronto are pretty nuts though. We met a wonderful couple who stood beside us and shared laughs over the adults acting like children. It was really crazy how people stand in the way of smaller children and refuse to move... Even when 4 or 5 people ask them nicely. I couldn't believe it.

Eventually I had to take the 4 older kids and lead them to the front. We sat on the side of the road with a few others because my kids just couldn't see. Adults with no kids crowding around the front really had a bunch of parents upset. The kids really enjoyed seeing all the floats though, and that's what it was all about. They were so thankful I grabbed them and sat with them in front of the barriers. No one said anything either as we sat right off to the side and weren't in anyone's way. A few others did the same.

After the marching bands were done people starting swarming out from behind the barriers. I grabbed the kids "LETS GO!" and we went to the main side of the road to see Santa! Some older man with a camera grabbed my arm and shoved me back, I couldn't believe it. You do not do that to anyone - let alone a woman!! Good grief. All because he wanted to film Santa Claus. I was just trying to stand by my kids to make sure they were safe and not hit by Santa and his huge float! 

After we made our way to the subway station to catch the subway closer to home to grab some food. The lines were outrageous. The line for the elevator to get the strollers and stuff down was nuts. We had the double stroller, I didn't babywear as I knew I would have to divide with the kids to even get them a view so we had our sit n stand. We waited 20 some odd minutes, and finally it was our turn we got on and all of a sudden some woman busted in pushing the man holding a little tiny baby, and his wife pushing their stroller with another younger child in it. The man said "Excuse me, we've been waiting don't push!" and she went off on him. "I can't wait 30 minutes, I have a disability, I have a cane don't you see it!" She then started swearing at him so of course my husband spoke up and told her not to swear in front of the kids, she then said "I don't care!" of course Mama bear had to step in and that didn't go so well. I don't understand people, and why they feel the world revolves solely around them. Not only were our 6 children on the elevator but the other couple had their 2 children as well. It was ridiculous. This woman kept going, and I was so happy to get off. Turrns out she had to stay on as she had to go down the stairs to the other side of the subway because guess what? she needed the train going the other way.. so all of that for nothing. 

Here's a tip: Be kind. Be polite. There is no need to act like that. Especially when children are around.... It was a great day, I just really could have done without all the crazy at the end!

Struggling..

Today I'm really struggling. I haven't seen or spoken to my dad or his family in 20+ years. It's been a tough situation for me, especially when I was 16 and my mom passed away from lung cancer. I had visits with my dad when I was younger and I remember them quite vividly. I remember never wanting to be with him, always faking sick or making myself sick so I could go home to my mom. He and I were just never really close and I never knew why.

All of a sudden he stopped coming to get me for visits. I would see him come down my street because his new girlfriend lived 4 houses away from us, but he never had the time to stop in and see me or say hi. I remember one day I was outside skipping and he drove down my street. I ran over to the drivers side he rolled down his window, talked to me for a few minutes and drove off into his girlfriends driveway and into her house. I remember just standing there so confused. I think I was about 6 or 7.

I would see my dad around town all the time as I got older. He lived a few streets away from a boyfriend I had from 15-17 and I remember when I got pregnant for Jordan I wrote my dad a note, I can't remember for the life of me what I put in it but I know it wasn't good, and my boyfriend took it over to his door. Knocked and handed it to his girlfriend... as I looked on from down the street.

It's always been a tough thing for me. Family as a whole has always been tough for me. My family was never normal, or even close to normal. We had members not speaking, members hating each other and not wanting anything to do with each other. It was never very healthy. But my mom, was incredible to me. She may not have been with my siblings, I can't remember anything they've dealt with or been through but my mom was my best friend.

I had 3 siblings but they were all much older than me and they were all from my moms first marriage, so different dads. They all had their lives and families by the time my mom had passed away. That was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with, and not just because she died - but because I was literally left with no one. Her and I dealt with her dying before her actual passing. I knew it was coming, her and I talked about it a lot. She was at peace with it, and I knew she wouldn't be suffering anymore. It was extremely hard, and still to this day I think about her daily. It's tough.  I wrote her a letter, I still have to this day. Apologizing for how rough I was on her -- I was so very angry that she was sick.. I was so mad at her because she was sick. She was a heavy smoker for her entire life, and she got lung cancer. I was angry. I was 15/16 years old dealing with a lot and I was not nice to her. I was just glad by the end she knew I was sorry, and why I was acting the way I was.. she understood. 

Once my mom passed away my dad was told shortly after, and I was told he would be in touch. He never was. I still saw him around town, and although I'm not 100% sure he ever saw me he never spoke to me if he did.

A few years ago I had someone call and tell me my dad was in the hospital he had internal bleeding. I didn't know what to do with this information. I had just had baby #4 and just didn't know. So my husband called him at the hospital to find out what was going on. He was nice, and genuine to my husband. My husband informed him he was a grandfather to 4 children... he had no idea. He told my husband he was ok, would be getting out of the hospital soon. That was that. I was relieved, and didn't think of it again.

Last night I got a message from his sister, my Aunt who when I was a kid I looked up to tremendously but who I also haven't seen in 20+ years, but recently came into contact with her on facebook and her 2 daughters my cousins who once upon a time ago I feel I was pretty close with. She had some news for me, and wanted to tell me on the phone not online - I had to get up the courage to give her my phone number and of course when she called, I burst into tears. It's A LOT to take in. A LOT.

She informed me my dad is ill, he has cancer. Inoperable cancer.

When I got off the phone with her I felt peace. I felt like no time has past and she had been in my life, my whole life. She was super sweet, and super easy to talk to. I was still angry with my dad, and I didn't feel any different towards him even given this new information. I went to bed, tossing and turning still angry. Replaying all the things that have gone on over and over in my head.... But then, today? I woke up. Feeling confused, and really struggling with feelings. There is so much, SO much I need to say to my dad. I am so angry, and hurt by living my whole life being unwanted by my dad but also never knowing why. WHY would anyone just walk away from their only daughter. What had I done? I realized once I grew up that it wasn't my fault, it was all on him. But there is still a lot of unanswered questions I have, and a lot I would have to say.

But the reality is, he has cancer. He is sick. Do I care? Of course, but am I sad about it? Not in the least. I'm angry. So, so very angry. I'm left now struggling with my own feelings and what if's. I'm not really sure how I feel. I do know I'm so sad for the little girl standing on the side of the road holding her skipping rope wondering why her dad doesn't want to visit with her instead of his girlfriend...

I'm really, struggling....

Guest Blog: Extended Family

 * i have asked my friend Heidi to post a guest blog here every Wednesday! so be sure to check back every week to see what she has to say! enjoy! *

Hello my name is Heidi and Jeanine had asked me to write a guest blog today. I am 28, mother of 2 and in love with my other half. Today I would like to talk about family, more along the lines of extended family.

We have a four and a half year old daughter and an 18 month old son. When we first had my daughter both of our families were very involved, always interested and wanted to participate. As time passed it almost seemed like the novelty wore off and those same in laws that were once involved really didn't seem to care anymore. My parents still till this day play an active roll which I am completely thankful for.

We were the first ones in either one of our families to have kids so we knew there would be no cousins, but I think we hoped one day. I always remember playing with my cousins growing up and I loved it. Unfortunately my brother, who is an amazing uncle is 9 years younger then me and isn't ready. My partners siblings don't have any children yet either. Many people that I talk to have these crazy involved families and cousins and parties etc. Sometimes I wish we had that for our kids. This whole family disconnect that we have been faced with used to be extremely hard on us, but we have learned to take it in stride. We now more then ever realize that our children are precious gifts. We still can't comprehend why some family wouldn't want to be involved but we know we are doing the best that we can and that they are the ones who are ultimately missing out.

For now we will continue to be as involved as we can be. I don't want my kids to ever feel like they missed out on family. We have lots of friends that have kids so that definitely helps keep them socialized and active. We have our daughter is 3 activities per week, which keeps her nice and busy. She just spent last Saturday at my parents for a sleepover, she adores them and hates coming home haha. My son is very active and always on the go. It won't be long until he can have an activity all to himself instead of having to sit and watch his sister.

Maybe one day things will get back to where they used to be. Hopefully one day my children do have a cousin or a more involved aunt and uncle. If that never happens we will be okay. I for one am so grateful for our little family and the love we have for one another. Extended family or not this is what we have and it's really all we need.

Overcoming...

Today I actually did something that I never thought I'd do. I overcame one of my biggest fears. Being in a video. Sounds weird right? I know but, hear me out. I have never liked the way I look and on camera it was always worse. Don't get me wrong, I love being in photos with my kids and taking a quick shot for IG now, but that wasn't always the case... If you ever look closely at my IG feed it wasn't until recently when I really became comfortable even taking a photo with me in it and posting it! When anyone mentioned FaceTime or anything I would always change the subject or avoid it and hope to goodness I never got that notification on my phone/ipad!

Having children really makes you stop and think about the way you look at things, especially yourself. Before I had kids I had no problems discussing what was wrong with my body, or how big my nose was. I wouldn't ever say such things in front of my kids - you never want to talk about that kind of thing in front of kids. Especially little girls. I just never felt the need to, but someone extremely wise reminded me of this not too long ago and it really made me think. Not only about myself, and my feelings for myself but for my kids.

I still may not be happy with my nose, laugh lines, my chin  and now my 9 weeks postpartum belly - but I've accepted them. They are mine, they are apart of ME.

For the last few years I've really tried to stress to my kids how beautiful they are, and how perfect they are just the way they are... Then I realized, I was lying! Not to them about how beautiful and perfect they are but to myself! Here I was telling them the very thing I had been beating myself up over for years secretly and sometimes not so secretly when I was a teen.

It wasn't until my oldest daughter began telling me how pretty she thought I was that I really was put in my place. Here she was this gorgeous, tall, blue eyed dirty blonde 7 year-old girl standing there looking at me saying "Mom, you are so pretty! I wish I looked like you!" I smiled and I told her how gorgeous she was and she smiled and danced away to the music in the background... It didn't really register with me until later on.

From that moment on I became a little bit more secure with myself. I started to wear make up again, straighten my hair again.. I even started to post photos of myself with my kids and gasp, ALONE on instagram! I can't change what I look like so the obvious choice was to give my head a shake and realize if this beautiful little girl looked at me and thought I was pretty, I needed to start acting like I thought so too. And guess what? It feels good to actually put on make up, and want to be included in things such as photos and as of today a video!

I was asked to do a short video, literally 15 seconds long and I was having a mini panic attack while getting ready for this video. Above is a still from it. It took a lot of takes, just to get this 15 seconds but I am absolutely happy with how it turned out... 

I really hope if the time ever comes my girls ever question their looks, I can make them feel as secure with themselves as my little girl did for me that day. She still tells me all the time how pretty I am, and sometimes she says she wants to look like me.. So I guess I've already started on this journey with her, letting her know she may not look like me but she is absolutely beautiful and I wouldn't change her for the world inside or out!

Instagram Giveaway!

Do you have instagram? Are you following me yet? I have a giveaway going on there until Friday November 15th! 3 lucky winners will win an AppleCheeks little bundle in their choice of size and color!

This giveaway is in honor of my 1 year working at AppleCheeks!

Don't worry if you don't have instagram -- I will be holding a giveaway here on the blog in December!

I just need to know what would you all like to see as a giveaway? I am going to be doing a Mommy/Baby goodie box! What would you like to see included in this box? Don't be shy, if you have something in mind let me know in the comments and I will see what I can do! I will be shopping for this for the next few weeks!

If you have a WAHM business and want to be included in this box e-mail me and we can set it up! I'm always looking for new things to try, and promote!

Not Super, Just Mom.

 "You are superwoman!"

Today I woke up feeling awful. My head was throbbing, my throat hurt and a wisdom tooth I had broke in half 2 weeks after Justin was born was also throbbing. I knew it was going to be a tough day with DH working until 630p, but I had to get through it.

People always say things to me like "wow, you are supermom!" or "I don't know how you do it!" and today, I didn't feel so super and I didn't know how I was going to do it. To let you in on a little secret I HATE when people say I'm super mom... Why? Because I'm not, and it makes me feel like I have to be ALL THE TIME.

Today, Like most days the kids truly wanted to be at each other all day, by noon I just let them bicker back and forth. I had gotten so tired of telling two or more to stop it, or be quiet. I couldn't think of anymore chores to hand out to get them away from each other because the house was clean, the dishes were done and I wasn't starting any baking today. So we read, we played a game and watched a tv show.. Needless to say the bickering and screaming went on most of the day. At one point I even had to stomp my feet and send 4 of them to their rooms. That's not real super.

Most weekends when I'm not feeling awful we bake, we cook, we do crafts and we do lots of things together... today I really just wanted to rest and not do much, so when I knew I had the chance to sit and do things with them I did instead of being up and all over the place with them.

Still wondering how I was going to get through the day I realized, I don't have to have a perfectly clean house, something baking or cooking - I just have to get through the day and as long as my kids are happy, healthy, clean and loved who cares about everything else, at least for one day!  I'm NOT supermom, I'm just mom. So if I have a lazy day, I shouldn't feel guilty right? 

It really bugs me when people say I'm supermom because I always feel like I have to live up to that every single day even when I feel sick. I feel like I need to prove something to people, to myself and I don't know why. Maybe its because of the comments I get about having six kids - I don't know. It's something I should really sit down and think about why it bothers me as to most it would be a compliment. I guess just feeling like there's a standard that I must live up to since people think I'm something I'm not is a bit hard to deal with.

Today, I wasn't supermom. I wasn't trying to live up to anything -- Today I just got through the day. And that's okay. It felt great!

And guess what? The kids are just fine.

The whole "I don't know how you do it" doesn't bother me but I don't know what that means really? I do it like any other parent "does" it. Just because I have six kids doesn't mean I'm so different it just means there's extra noise, extra mouths and extra love! I love all the hussle and bustle of little kids hooting and hollering around me. I love always having the house full! I'm no different, just have some extra people in my life to love!

I dunno, hopefully I can keep re-reading this entry to remind myself - - It's OK to be sick, it's OK not to over do it everyday...

1 Year Anniversary!

Today I celebrate 1 year of being employed by the most amazing company in the world, AppleCheeks. I am so incredibly thankful for even getting the chance to work for a company I truly love and believe in, but a whole year? That is incredible. I consider myself extremely lucky.

"How did you get your job?" - I'm asked this a lot. In the cloth diaper world my job is considered a "dream job" and believe me, it is! So, I'll tell you.

I would like to thank a little app known as Instagram! I was, and still am an obsessed photo taker and poster on IG. AppleCheeks was one of my very favorite things to photograph, especially on little bums! It was August 2012 when I was asked by the beautiful Ilana co-owner of AppleCheeks to become an Ambassador for the company, a few months later she told me she had a proposal for me. I was offered the position as customer care... Of course, I took it!

My job I get to do from home - Most people don't know that, they assume I live and work in Montreal at HQ but I don't I'm all the way in Toronto. So really, it's the best of both worlds. I get to work from home in my pajamas (if I want to!) while being with my kids AND doing my dream job! I absolutely love helping people with their issues - fit, laundry, stripping you name it! It brings me great joy to know someone who may be having a small issue that may be very frustrating to them but a small little fix that they hadn't even realized and I get to help with it! Awesome, right?

Well I think so, and for that I am doing a wonderful giveaway on my Instagram. I am giving away 3 little bundles in winners choice of size and color! So, if you love AppleCheeks and would really like to snag a new little bundle (cover and insert) check me out on Instagram for you chance! The giveaway is running for a whole week and its open to EVERYONE!

I will do a blog post at some point this weekend all about AppleCheeks so those who are new and thinking about using them can get a little look into my world and why I love them so much!

Do you cloth diaper? Why did you chose to, or not to?

No one said it would be easy..

There come's a time when people need to make changes. I needed some change 2 years ago when I quit blogging. Yes, I tried to blog again about a year ago but it didn't last long. I'm not too sure why, but so much was going on. I had just started a new work from home job as a customer care specialist for a cloth diaper company, Christmas was coming and shortly after I got pregnant with #6 so needless to say my blog just sat for a year doing nothing, not being used.

I decided recently that I wanted to blog again. Well, needed to blog again. I miss being able to say what I feel in more than 140 characters. I miss being able to interact with people who are over the age of 10.

So, here I am. Who knows how easy this will be taking care of 6 kids, working daily, 3 dogs and a husband but I am up for the challenge. I have tons of topics I want to talk about, I have tons of recipes I want to post. It will be great..

No one ever said everything was easy right?

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